merrygoround♥

Sunday, 22 June 2008

It's a rainy sun-day.

As days turn into weeks and weeks into month,
I thought I had gotten used to the frequent parting we had to face when the time comes.
I thought I could pretend that when I see friends and their bf or gf I wouldn't think of you.
I thought looking at you through msn and skype would be equivalent to seeing you.
I thought talking about you would make me feel you are here with me.
I thought thinking about you would make me feel blessed enough to not miss you like I did.
I thought smiling at your picture in my phone would mean smiling at you.
I thought holding my hand would make me feel I'm holding yours.
I thought scrunching up would make me feel you are holding me in your arms.
I thought imagining you appearing right in front of me amidst the cold human sea could be a dream come true.
I thought I could talk about missing you like I'm describing what I did yesterday.
I thought our choice to be together would be sufficient to walk me through this long long road.

But you are still not here, with me.

Please tell me you would carry me on your back to continue this journey,
to hold my hand me when there's wind,
to dry my hair,
to be my air.

当时间一点一点的流失，
我以为我可以倘然地面对每次分离的时刻，
我以为我看见朋友跟相爱的人一起我不会很想你，
我以为从电脑萤目里看见你就像是真的看着你，
我以为常常聊到你会让我觉得你在我身边
我以为只要想你就足够让我感觉幸福而不那么想你，
我以为对着电话里的你笑就等于对着真正的你笑，
我以为自己牵自己的手就像是牵着你的手，
我以为把自己环抱得紧一点就会让我觉得是你在抱紧我，
我以为想象你在我眼前出现不会只是奢望，
我以为我可以若无其事地说我很想念你，
我以为我们决定在一起就足以让我有勇气继续，

但是你始终不在我身边。

请告诉我你愿意背着我走下去，
在狂风暴雨中牵着我的手，
帮我把头发擦干，
当我的全部,
让我知道你在。

Written at 10:28 pm